No matter how you experience them or how rough you like it, forced orgasms are about pleasure.
I love forced orgasms. If I had to choose between a forced orgasm and a good fuck, I would choose the forced orgasm almost every time. So what is it that I and others like me enjoy so much? As with anything kinky, there is no simple answer, but I will give you a few.
Let's first look at what orgasms, forced and controlled orgasms are, and how to get pleasure from them during a BDSM session.
According to the Clinical Psychology Review, there are at least 26 definitions of orgasm. In clinical terms, orgasm is a sudden release of sexual tension that results in muscle contractions and changes in heart rate, blood pressure and breathing patterns.
In other words, an orgasm occurs suddenly after the build-up of sexual tension, creating an intense feeling of pleasure. In men, orgasm may be accompanied by ejaculation.
Orgasms are complex physiological and psychological responses to sexual activity, which makes defining them in a precise way quite difficult. Orgasms often involve stimulation of sexual organs such as the penis, clitoris or G-spot, but orgasms can also occur in response to stimuli from other parts of the body or even in response to thoughts or visual stimuli.
An orgasm includes the following phases: the arousal phase, the plateau phase, the orgasmic phase and the completion phase. The duration of these phases varies individually and according to the person's physiology.
An orgasm is often considered the end of sexual intercourse, although it does not necessarily have to be so.
It is rare for both partners to be able to orgasm at the same time. If your goal is to orgasm, make sure your partner is satisfied too. Orgasms are a wonderful part of sex, but they are not the only source of pleasure. Try exploring sex beyond orgasm through tantric or other techniques.
A forced orgasm is a climax experienced by a person who gives up control during sexual play. A submissive person can have a forced orgasm after concentrated and intense stimulation from the dominant person. As the name of this climax suggests, a forced orgasm occurs even when a person is trying not to orgasm. This is a common element during BDSM and fetish play, especially during scenes between a Dominator and a submissive.
A forced orgasm occurs when a submissive partner tries to delay their orgasm. The dominant partner stimulates his or her genitals and other erogenous zones to try to trigger an orgasm. This stimulation can take place through vaginal, oral or anal sex, but usually takes place with fingers or sex toys stimulations. The dominant partner often uses a rope or other bondage tools to restrain their submissive partner while trying to bring them to orgasm. The bound submissive loses control over his or her body, so cannot influence when he or she comes or how hard he or she comes.
A forced orgasm can involve one orgasm or several ones. Multiple forced orgasms are more common in vaginally-bound submissives who have shorter recovery periods than penile submissives. When subs have multiple forced orgasms, overstimulation can change the sensations in their bodies from direct pleasure to a kind of pleasure-pain. Endorphins released during orgasm should ensure that pleasure dominates, however.
Although both are called forced orgasms, the term in a BDSM or kink context differs from the orgasm a victim experiences during sexual assault. During a BDSM or kink session, the person receiving a forced orgasm is always a willing participant who gives full consent. Because forced orgasms can occur with consent, people who have forced orgasms without consent may feel confused or ashamed. That is why it is so important for people to understand that a forced orgasm in a BDSM or kink context is very different from one that occurs without consent.
Forced orgasms are usually a very stimulating and erotic experience for the submissive receiving them as well as the Dominant triggering them. For the submissive, having a forced orgasm is a way to feel great pleasure being in the hands of the Dominator. The feeling of helplessness can enhance the experience and make the practice even more pleasurable. Dominators also enjoy the fact that they can control every part of their submissive's experience, including her sexual response. This can be a real adrenaline rush.
A forced orgasm can take place on its own or be an element of a larger scene. It can also be part of any BDSM scene, including beginner experiments. A Dominant can use a forced orgasm as a way to control the submissive's body or even to punish naughty behavior, while also giving the submissive great pleasure. The dominant partner can tell the submissive when to orgasm or forbid the submissive to orgasm until the submissive asks permission.
Often Dominants trigger forced orgasms along with other methods of orgasm control, such as edging and orgasm denial. Triggering a forced orgasm after a prolonged period of delay by edging and orgasm denial can make the forced orgasm even stronger and more intense.
A forced orgasm can also be part of a role-play scene. For example, the Dominator and the submissive might act out a rape fantasy in which a dominant attacker forces his victim to orgasm. Another option might be a doctor-patient role-play, in which the dominant doctor forces his submissive patient to orgasm during a gynecological exam. Perhaps the Dominator could play the role of a super-villain who forces the submissive superhero to climax and reveal his secret plans. The only limit with this kind of game is your imagination!
Forced orgasms are generally a very safe form of BDSM play, as long as there is proper consent. Since the Dominator assumes total power, he should make sure that his submissive willingly participates before play begins. The couple should discuss hard and soft limits so that there is no confusion about what the submissive agrees to be "forced" to do.
If it is the first time playing BDSM with forced orgasms, they can even discuss a comprehensive plan so the submissive knows what to expect. They should also establish a safeword and safe gesture if restrictions compromise verbal communication, so that play can stop if the submissive partner feels uncomfortable. Engaging in aftercare, after a forced orgasm, is another way Dominators can take care of their submissives' mental health.
Forced orgasm also means giving up power
Being forced to orgasm is part of a transfer of power. Your partner has, at least for that BDSM session, control over your body and whether or not you are allowed to experience sexual release. (I did not say sexual "pleasure," because you can experience that without orgasm).
Pain can be pleasure
Withholding an orgasm until you are given permission to have it involves some kind of pain. Having orgasm (after orgasm) forced on your body is a delicious kind of pain that combines the pleasure of sexual release with the pain of friction on sensitive body parts. Sometimes the pain comes from the force of the stimulation - a vibrator at full throttle, a rough hand, etc. Other times, your body becomes so sensitive that even the slightest touch causes additional pain.
Orgasms are great
It is safe to say that most sexually active people love orgasms, but if you are the type who seeks forced (and often multiple) orgasms, your pleasure is on a whole other level. Muscles will spasm to the point of pain. Nerves tingle with every touch. Sweat coats your body, and you gasp with every breath. If that sounds like heaven to you, you might like forced orgasms...
Ways to force orgasms
Let's get one thing straight: forced orgasms are not simply for male Dominators/Tops who squeeze climax after climax out of a submissive woman or from the bottom. People with penises are capable of having forced orgasms too. Just understand that no matter whom you participate in BDSM play with, the process and time required will be different for everyone, regardless of gender.
You may have a partner, male or female, who can only achieve one orgasm at a time. Just as you might have one who is multi-orgasmic, especially after the first orgasm. Take your time, watch your partner and be patient. The pleasure is in the process just as much as it is in the final result.
Bondage play and the vibrator using
The fantasy of a forced orgasm can seem more real if you are tied up in some way (not required, but recommended). Whether you use a scarf or belt you have around the house, pick up some super affordable bondage tape or invest in a bondage kit, being tied up can also leave your partner at your beck and call to do whatever you want.
You do not have to know how to tie knots or be an expert in Shibari to have such a scene. Bondage tape, handcuffs, or silk scarves that tie your partner to a flat surface, such as a bed or kitchen table, will suffice. Once you are sure your partner is not going anywhere, it is time to turn on the vibrator. Rope harnesses and duct tape are options for securing the vibrator in place, or, as a Dominator, you may hold it, because that way you can press it against your submissive's body as hard, as long, and whenever you want.
Once again, this is not a necessity, but an "And why not?" kind of thing. Getting a Magic Wand to press on your vulva or controlling a vibrating harness can be a lot of fun. Or, if you are penis-endowed, using masturbators or anal plugs can also be a great addition to a hot BDSM session.
Yes, penises can enjoy vibrators too. A penis that hardens like steel, darkens in color with need and desire, and then is milked for every drop of cum is a beautiful sight. Contrary to popular belief, some men are capable of multiple orgasms, though they may still need some time between each climax. Regardless, even one forced orgasm can be enough if you limit and stimulate your partner to the point of climax before allowing release.
Orgasm denial is a type of sex play that involves maintaining a high level of arousal for a long period of time without having an orgasm. This physical and psychological practice is often used in combination with BDSM in Dominator/submissive relationships.
Anyone, regardless of gender or orientation, can participate in orgasm denial, either as Top or Bottom. During orgasm denial, the dominant partner will actively bring the submissive partner to the brink of orgasm and then abruptly stop or change stimulation. This may be repeated whenever partners want orgasm to occur only under certain circumstances - or not at all.
Orgasm denial can occur in several ways, including stopping stimulation before climax would take place, touching other erogenous parts of the body that stimulate and bring pleasure but do not lead to orgasm, using restraints to limit the submissive's ability to touch the Dominant or their self, or using chastity devices such as penis cages and chastity belts.
Although it may seem contradictory, orgasm denial is actually a method that enhances pleasure through obedience and submission. Pleasure is drawn out over time and becomes the focus, unlike orgasm. Continued orgasm denial play can actually lead to stronger and more intense orgasms.
Orgasms on the edge and verbal commands
Edging is a type of orgasm play in which the Dominator or Top brings their partner to the brink of orgasm (or asks them to masturbate to the brink of orgasm) and then denies them to climax. Sometimes, the submissive or bottom is told how many times to reach the brink of orgasm, while at other times, the Dominator controls the sensation without indicating when they will grant orgasm.
Sometimes during this play, the submissive partner is told or knows that they must ask permission to orgasm. A Dominator can refuse orgasm or, when feeling generous, grant it. In other types of play, the playmay be to see if the submissive can stop begging and waiting for permission.
Part of pain and pleasure is denial. Once permission is granted, sometimes issued with a "Come for me!" by the dominant partner, the stimulation - vibrator, hand and even tongue - continues long after the first orgasm. Once your body is on the verge of an orgasm, the first one you experience is often big and explosive. People who orgasm relatively easily may find that successive orgasms are just as powerful as the first, their bodies being overloaded with endorphins and sensations.
Safety and consent in the power transfer during BDSM play
Forced orgasms are not for everyone. If you try them as part of a BDSM play or power exchange with your partner, always discuss it before you play. Make sure you have a safe word or gesture to let your Dominant or Top know if good pain has turned to bad pain or if something is wrong and you need to stop immediately.
The first time you try it, you may not be able to handle a lot of stimuli. If you enjoy it and keep playing with forced orgasms, you may find that you're able to endure more over time and have more orgasms. Never feel bad if you fail to get more than one orgasm (or don't orgasm at all). As long as you (and your partner) felt mutual pleasure, that's all that matters.
The main point here is that although you are playing the role of a submissive, this is for you and your pleasure. Your partner should never pressure you to have a forced orgasm if they are not your type. As I've already said, consent has to be part of the BDSM game for it to work and feel good.
Orgasm control is a common BDSM practice. Every relationship will be a little different, but orgasm control can take place in a few ways: asking permission to masturbate and/or climax, or having your orgasm forced. However, forced orgasms aren't just for two (or more) kinky partners having fun and spending time together. Even when you masturbate alone you can force your own orgasms.
Whichever way you decide to embark on the forced orgasm ship is up to you - experiment and only keep the procedures you feel comfortable with your partner.
Now go ahead and let go of forced orgasms!
Ultimately, no matter how you experience them or how hard you like to do it, forced and controlled orgasms are about pleasure.