Massage candles and hot wax can be amazing, but it is important to know your limits, communicate regularly and proceed with minimized risks, maximized safety.
Ah, hot wax. Some of us are very too familiar with it… Some of us like its intensity, but it quickly cools. It has a great capacity to sooth as well as be sensual and exciting. Hot wax can be cooled even more quickly with ice cubes, creating intense sensation play opportunities. The big question is how to start in a safe way, so here are a few tips:
Do NOT Use Just Any Candle!
This falls under the “be aware of risk and safety rules of kink”. Specifically, look for candles meant for play that are safe for your skin. Looking for “massage candles” will get you generally what you want: many sex toy retailers carry them in different scents. Effectively, you want a candle that has a low melting point, melts into oil, not wax: do NOT use beeswax candles, either! In other words, you want to avoid a trip to a hospital!
You must also keep in mind any existing allergies or sensitivities. If you are allergic to soy, search for hemp-based candles. Rashes are far from sexy.
When you do have the right candle, make sure there are no flammable materials in the immediate vicinity that could inadvertently catch fire and burn you or your partner. Grab a damp cloth or towel for your partner to have it at hand. For testing the wax for play, keep the candle at least 8 inches from skin. Test this yourself to get used to moving the candle through space and dripping it, or you could use a brush accessory (again, use brands that expressly design for this sort of play!) to move the melted candle onto the skin.
Talk to Each Other
Agree on safe words as well as safe gestures when things get too intense. NEVER direct wax onto a face, even with a brush - you do not want candle-melt to get into the eyes, nose, or on the lips!
I know you want to just go ahead and poor melted wax over your partner’s nipples and genitals, but that might not be the best idea to start with.
People react to candle play differently, as well as to temperatures. They have different ideas as to what might be too intense for them. If either you or your partner are new to candle play, take the time to drizzle the melting of the candle onto your partner’s body and see how they respond before going to places that are already highly sensitive, as nipples and genitals. No matter how impatient are you to poor the entire melted candle onto your partner most sensitive parts…
The intensity of the hot wax may be too much directly on, or next to a nipple, for example. Spend time on other areas of the body – the back and shoulders are good starting places. Listen to and check in frequently with your partner for these areas before you even consider more sensitive parts of the body.
Because of the risk of using an open flame, avoid gagging your partner.
Be Prepared in Case of Need
As hot as candle wax play is, the receiving partner needs their body and mind taken care of afterwards as well. Take time to work moisturizer into their skin after playtime. Make aftercare a pleasant experience for both of you after such an intense scene. Always keep a first-aid kit within easy reach should you or your partner needs it (especially when using other tools alongside candle play, such as ice cubes, whips and more).
Massage candles and hot wax can be amazing, but it is important that anyone who wants to use them know their limits, communicate regularly before, during, and after a play session, and proceed with risk-aware safety in mind.