The temperature play can add a special dimension to sex life in BDSM, as long as it is done safely and the appropriate tools are used.
You are probably already familiar with the idea of bringing ice or hot wax into the bedroom, even if you have never used them personally before, during play sessions and sex.
The temperature play may seem simple, even boring from a distance. However, when you consider all the possibilities available, this sensation-focused part of the fetishist realm can add color to BDSM play sessions in unexpected but very enjoyable ways. Temperature play can also be accomplished in conjunction with other types of BDSM plays, such as bondage or sensory deprivation (e.g. vision restricting).
Interested in expanding your range of action in the temperature play? This article includes tips and ideas for experimenting with hot and cold sensations to add pleasure, excitement and variety.
What is the temperature play, in fact?
The temperature play can involve unlimited methods of using the feeling of hot or cold to enhance the fetish and sexual experience. You can decide to use objects or substances that you already have at home, such as a sauce, wax or hot chocolate syrup.
You can also heat or cool the sex toys that drive safely and effectively, the temperature, such as glass dildos or metal clamps. You can even use settings with extreme temperatures, such as a sauna or a yard full of snow. The sky is the limit, so feel free to be creative.
General safety tips for the temperature play
In line with the model of ethics frequently embraced by BDSM followers, "Safe, Sane and Consensual", you will want to avoid any possibility of actual physical, mental, or emotional damage. This means taking precautions to avoid diseases, burns, or other injuries - before, during and after the playing sessions.
Fire game is a type of temperature edge play that requires training to be realized safely. It is recommend that you learn and experiment, during personal training getting instruction from a qualified mentor or teacher before trying yourself at home.
Here we will focus on the basic safety measures involving preventive actions so that practitioners to be happy and (reasonably) untouched at the end of the fire play, without specialized training being needed.
1. Be prepared for emergencies
As with any type of BDSM play, the worst-case scenario must always be considered, in order to take all the steps to actually have the best of them. Whatever you do, you need to get the necessary tools at your fingertips if you or your partner happen to have problems or a certain feeling becomes too intense:
- If you are playing with candles, make sure you have a fire extinguisher nearby;
- If you feed your subject with super spicy chilies, have milk at hand to neutralize the burn;
- If you are playing cold, make sure you have a quick way to warm up again. No one wants to get a cold after having a nice time within a BDSM session.
2. Choose the right device for the temperature play
The objects, instruments and substances you use must be suitable for temperature play. For example, some candles are made of wax that burns at high temperatures and will produce scars on the skin, perhaps even permanent. If the wax play is to your liking, buy from a specialized store, candles that burn at lower temperatures, designed to safely practice BDSM games with hot wax.
You will also need tools made of materials that can easily, safely achieve high or low temperatures such as metal, glass or stone.
Dildos or plastic sex toys, for example, are not ideal choices.
3. Always test on your own skin the tools chosen for the temperature play
If you act as the Dominator/Dominatrix or lead the session during the play, test your tools and substances on yourself before using them on your partner. You need to have a clear understanding of the feelings and sensations you generate.
Does the submissive person want to try "figging" (introduction into the intimate areas, anal or vaginal, of a piece of ginger)? You try it first. You want to poor hot lubricant on her genitals? Do it on yourself first. If it is too much for you, chances are it is too much for her too.
4. Never leave alone your play partner during BDSM sessions
If you want to punish your submissive for disobedient behavior, you might want to send her out in the cold, alone, for a while.
No matter how naughty she was, you shouldn't leave her unattended during the play for long periods of time. If you decide to step away to create the illusion of abandonment or a similar feeling, stay nearby and return frequently to check how she feels.
5. Be aware of hives
Urticaria is a skin condition that materializes in the form of redness, itching, pustules in a localized area. For some people, this reaction may be triggered by contact with high or low temperatures or a sudden change in temperature. Strange as it may seem, urticaria is simply a histamine response, often caused by allergies and inflammation arising as a result of overwhelming of the immune system.
If you or your partner notices signs of hives while experimenting with the temperature game, stop what you are doing and let the reaction diminish. Know that urticaria can also accompany anaphylaxis, a severe, life-threatening allergic reaction. Seek medical attention in case of dizziness, shortness of breath or swelling of the lips, eyelids or tongue.
Speaking of allergies...
You never know what substances might be irritating or over-demanding to your partner's immune system, so always ask about this during pre-game negotiations. It would be bad, for example, to blindfold your loved one and surprise them by pouring hot chocolate syrup into their mouth just to find out that they have intolerance to it!
It is not sexy or romantic at all! Avoid this by asking for details about allergies, intolerances, or anything else that might get in the way of fun.
6. Never neglect the aftercare
The presence or absence of further care may be decisive for the success of an intimate meeting and of a BDSM play. Although some forms of temperature game may seem mild, different people react differently to the sensation play. What might be slightly painful or stimulating for you can be earth-shattering or particularly difficult for your partner, especially if this is the first time you have tried this experience in the context of a power exchange relationship.
Unless you and your partner have specifically agreed that aftercare is not necessary or desirable, save enough time to complete the aftercare at the end of BDSM sessions. Do everything you can to ensure that all participants are feeling safe, respected, appreciated and cared for after a BDSM session. Beautiful memories make way of having more good moments in the future. It is always worth the effort.
Common household items that you can use for the temperature game
Consider these elements and to what extent they arouse your interest.
Food and drinks:
- Ice cubes
- Ice cream
- Melted chocolate
- Chilled fruit
- Hot sauce
- Chili peppers
- Hot tea
- Frozen vegetables
- Chilled champagne
- Raw ginger.
- Hot wax
- Massage candles
- Heated massage oil
- Heated lubricant
- Medicated balms
- Capsaicin cream.
Objects of glass, metal or stone:
- Wartenberg Wheels
- Kegel balls
- Blunt knives
- Chains or jewelry
- Stainless steel sex toys.
Using your sex toys for the temperature game
As mentioned above, sex toys made of glass, metal or stone are best suited for this type of BDSM play. For the heat-involved play, simply fill a bowl with warm water and immerse the water-resistant sex toys in it for 5 to 15 minutes. (It is NOT recommended to heat toys using a stove, oven or microwave.)
To cool your sex toys, you can immerse them in a bowl of cold water or put them in the fridge or freezer for a bit.
For example, you can use a water-resistant aluminum clitoral stimulator, excellent for playing with temperature! You can put it in the freezer to cool down or put it in warm water to warm up (being 100% waterproof, it is sure to be heated this way).
This stimulator is also excellent for exploring the ice game! You can place small pieces of ice in his head that can pulsate and vibrate, for chilled stimulation for the clitoris, vulva, nipples, penis, or any other erogenous areas you want to explore!
You could try a heating vibrator as well!
When you think it is ready, test the temperature of the toy on the inside of your wrist to make sure it won't be too hot or too cold to use on the genitals or inside the body of the receiving person. Also consider bringing a bowl of hot or cold water into the bedroom or playing room, since the toy will return over time to room temperature.
Using lubricant for temperature play
The usual lubricant can be heated or cooled before a game session, just like any other liquid. Just fill a bowl or glass of water at the desired temperature and keep the bottle immersed for 10-15 minutes. Remember to always check the temperature by applying one or two drops to your wrist before using the lubricant during the temperature play.
There are also certain types of lubricant formulated specifically for the temperature play. They create hot, cold or tingling sensations without you doing anything! Be cautious, however, with lubricants designed to desensitize, because using them, it can become difficult to assess whether a feeling of pain or stimulation is too much for you.
So, do you feel inspired? Have a great time, whether you are applying or receiving a play of heating, cooling, or both! Have fun and be safe!