Sex toys aren't just sex toys – they can also be fetish toys!
Your BDSM toy bag may be filled with handcuffs, floggers, collars, paddles and much more. You and your partner (partners) are adepts of BDSM, and the words "Master" or "Mistress" can be heard in your bedroom (and in your home). You consider yourself part of a power exchange dynamic – which means that one of you is responsible and A Dominator, and the other is happy to receive instructions as a submissive or slave.
To keep this dynamic fresh in your mind, you are probably playing with a wide range of fetish toys. After all, that is what the bondage and collars were made for! But have you ever thought about expanding your "fetish toy box" to include more than just fetish toys? Ordinary sex toys can be a fun way to strengthen the dynamics of your power exchange relationship. Consider these simple ways to incorporate your favorite sex toys into your BDSM plays – or consider this article an inspiration to buy new ones!
While the idea of playing in public brings, to many of us, a certain level of emotion can also be very exciting for so many others! Many sex toys fit well for a discreet play in public, considering plugs, Kegel balls, nipple clamps and more. Order your submissive partner to wear these items while he/she is away and return wearing them to enjoy their experience! A discreet pressing on the flared base of the anal toy worn by your submissive while you are close to one another in an elevator, can be a fun and exciting way to constantly remember who the Dominator is...
Public play with remote control
Consider this public play one step further! Instead of just letting your partner have passive pleasure in public, consider what can make this process more active. Wireless vibrators and remotely controlled vibration plugs make the public play a perfect chance to assert dominance. Ask your submissive to wear remote-controlled sex toys and you take over the remote! Not only will you have the secret thrill of knowing that your submissive will be able to have sexual pleasure in the middle of the café, but you can also choose to start and stop the toy as you choose. This adds a completely different thrill and power exchange using a simple vibrating toy. Consider adding a punishment or reward to the playing time, depending on whether you allow your submissive to orgasm or not. The temptation to "surprise" the submissive with this toy will be powerful, but consider trying the toy at home first. There is nothing more frustrating than finding out that your new toy is not working properly... in the middle of a mall where you cannot troubleshoot it. Trying at home will let you know which clothes fit best, which vibration range is suitable for the remote to work outside and whether the wireless function functions well.
Consider the bondage kept under your submissive’s clothes when outside
Learning a few basic ties of bondage with ropes can come in handy if you are looking for ways to (re)assert your dominance periodically. While you can always tie a basic Karada harness for the submissive to wear under the garment (and thus be reminded of their status all the time!), you can also use the rope for more cunning purposes, including fixing the anal plugs on place when the submissive is in public. While the rope will probably be too tight to be worn for long periods of time, if you use bondage to retain an insertable toy in the anus, in the vagina, it will work for short periods of time in public. The toy will allow your submissive to have a pleasant sensation of being filled when walking outside. Look at the tutorials to learn how to make hip harnesses with rope, choose one appropriate according to your skill level (and don't forget to choose an easily washable rope material such as cotton or nylon).
Masturbation to tease your submissive
Your D/s play with sex toys should not be limited to the space outside your home! Take with you the dominant attitude in the bedroom! Instead of allowing your partner pleasure, consider tying up your submissive and enjoying sex toys on your own. Don't allow your submissive any pleasure or to touch you. Just torture her by forcing to watch while you enjoy your own sex toy: vibrators, anal plugs or whatever else you want! Remember that it is about show, denial, chicanery.
Let's go in the opposite direction now! If you know that your partner's pleasure is well triggered, consider using sex toys to "torture" him/her in the truest sense of the word! Continue sexual stimulation after his/her orgasm. If he/her cannot have multiple orgasms, it will feel very, very intense, very fast! If your partner is capable of multiple orgasms, you continue until your submissive’s body is so exhausted from the multiple orgasms that it would stop them immediately if you would allow it! Refusing to stop the pleasure until you decide that it is enough, - not when the submissive person is satisfied - is a fun way to strengthen the D/s dynamic and to remind who is in charge.
Remember, however, that you can only torture someone if you have received express consent in advance. A safeword is required to ensure that the fun stops when the submissive person needs it and announces it using the safeword set before the play.
Don't forget the improvements in sex toy technology! New technology influences every aspect of our daily lives – including our sex life! Vibrators, male masturbators and anal plugs can be controlled remotely with an internet connection. While your partner is away pursuing his/her business, you both can still remain sexually connected through remote control sex toys. Or you can ask your partner to wear an anal plug at work - one that you can control from the comfort of your favorite home seat...
Humiliation and shame play
Your sex toys can work perfectly in scenes based on "humiliation." If you frame them correctly, what could be more embarrassing than being forced to use a vibrator when there is a perfectly functioning biologically penis in front of you? Don't forget that sex toys can open a wide range of opportunities for plays involving embarrassment and humiliation, if that is what you like!
Consider fun ways in which sex toys can become tools for your need to strengthen dominance.
You are a Dominatrix and you want to make your man submissive to choke with a penis while you are penetrating him from behind with a strap-on dildo? Well, if a threesome is not to be considered this time, a suction-based vibrator fixed on the wall in front of you, could be exactly what you need! You are A Dominator and you like the idea of tying your female partner up and stimulating her madly, but without a bit of clitoral stimulation when she needs it to have an orgasm? Consider the vibrating clamps for nipples and an internal vibrator for the vagina during anal sex, double penetration being, by the way, the dream of many women!
The point is sex toys are tools at your fingertips that you can use at all times to reinforce the dynamics of power exchange relationship. You just have to change the way you think about them and be creative.
A tip in conclusion: what makes any of these sex toys useful for strengthening the power dynamics in your D/s relationship, is the mentality of it. You may have planned a complicated scenario to make your partner feel submissive with only a vibrator, but if you don't share these thoughts with her, she might react like on a regular action, having a time with no special dynamic for her. What makes (or spoils!) your scene, will be the approach of it. Make sure you are vocal and verbal, reminding your partner of what is going on. Thus, in addition to refreshing the power dynamics of your relationship, the scene you imagined will be all the hotter!