Bondage is not just a sensual act - it is a symbolic one.
Observing from the position of a curious viewer, or if you are new to BDSM scenes, you might wonder why people like bondage.
Bondage involves a range of ties from simple to elaborate, from a wrapping around the wrists to a body harness and suspension. How does it look like? What do find fascinating in bondage the people involved? Much of what we see in bondage, especially when it comes to an observer besides a participant, is the visual aesthetic and perception of what one might feel being physically immobilized. However, this visual image is not showing the deeper connection formed between the binding person and the bound one. It is not always about dominance. It is not always about sexual gratification. And while some readers might be familiar with bondage as an act of intimacy, for others, the emotional aspect of ties with ropes might come as a surprise...
Stigma involved with bondage
There is still a certain stigma attached to any kind considered by the majority as "deviant" about sensual practices, whether the act is actually deviant or not. Images of power play, rough sex, domination (or even enslavement) often appear in the foreground, displayed by the vanilla world, as deviant. It is an indication of miseducation and falsehood related to how society relates to intimacy and sensual acts.
Notice that the word sensual was used twice in the last paragraph, instead of sexual. There is a difference.
The sensual play evokes emotions and involves how the senses could be captured and then released. It doesn't rely on sex, although sexuality and sexual energy are really involved into bondage. Rather than limiting the act of bondage to an aspect of sex, sensual acts are based on a wide range of emotions and, above all, on trust.
Beginners, do not kid yourselves!
The first time you roll a length of rope and try to tie the submissive person, there will not be something very aesthetic, it will take time to fix the limits, to overcome them with consent, there will be mistakes from which to learn how to avoid them in the future: learning through practicing, experimenting and one part from the other through communication. Perhaps it will to be accepted at the beginning, the smiles of the witnesses about the outcome of the first ties...
But over time, it can be seen how the sensuality of bondage will evolve to much more than binding one another: both sides, rigger and rope bunny, will focus better to turn bondage into art, will learn to give and receive developing a much deeper connection than they would have initially imagined as possible.
Why bondage?
What do we feel when we are engaged in rope bondage? Why is such a strong bond formed in our relationship, and not only? Why do we use ropes when we could share any other hobbies we have in common? Experimenting bondage from both positions, as person who binds, the rigger, and the bound person, the rope bunny, appears a possible answer: the symbolism.
Bondage can symbolize the placement of physical trust in a partner as a major aspect for which partners include bondage in their sensual acts.
With a simple tie around the wrists, or a vision restriction, giving a physical form to the bondage based on trust, can bring physicality to inner feelings and turmoil, and that, in turn, produces catharsis.
Overlaying the stress of every day, the frustrations of rejection, the struggles of life with its various obstacles - over the physical act of struggling in bonds and the feeling of being restricted, adds a tangible component to intangible emotions. It pushes abstract ideas into the physical world, providing a way to make the struggle of the soul to become physical and thus make it easier to be overcame.
Using physical bondage to overcome emotional stress
Bondage can help relieve the stress at work, from everyday life by giving something concrete to fight to, turn the abstract into something that can be confronted and then be defeated. An important role in this process is also the attempt to free oneself from physical ties. Not always a bondage play have to comprise the struggle to release from the ties, it is the choice of the play partners. However, the effort to release from physical bonds can bring more relief from the mental ones, which turns the physical bondage session into something much deeper and fully rewarding.
The bonding person becomes more confident acquiring experience in time, which gives a sense of tranquility and security to the person subjected to bondage, the feeling of safety and peace of mind being transmitted through rope and touches during the bondage session. Trusting the rigger, the person who is doing the bonds, brings a great positive emotion to the tied person, the rope bunny who will return the good feeling to their rigger, emotions and perceptions being transmitted through the rope as channel of communication.
Bondage is a powerful experience.
At first, what the parties perceive is more sexual liberation, and for the domineering part, also the pleasure of exercising power. With the experience, much more is acquired than the sexual purpose, sometimes sex is no longer a necessary part of the bondage play. Partners enjoy together the confidence, the sensations that the ropes give in contact with the skin, but also those induced by the restriction of movements, reaching a much deeper relationship than they would have expected at the beginning. The rope is the way that got them there. The two sides have increased their confidence in each other, they give each other devotion: it is not sexual, it is sensual!